I found this post in my drafts and thought it was worth sharing, even though it's 5 years old by now. Truth has no expiration date. :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am writing this on the New Year's Eve, as the year 2014 comes to an end. It is a time to slow down and think, and reflect on what has been done during the year, how the year has been, what I am proud of, happy with, would make differently, learnt and did. Since it has been an amazing year in all aspects for me, I want to share my feelings and experience. Maybe something in this post will help someone recall or forget, do or stop doing, dare or reconsider. If you are bored with the prospect of reading my story you can stop reading now. If you are curious, welcome.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am writing this on the New Year's Eve, as the year 2014 comes to an end. It is a time to slow down and think, and reflect on what has been done during the year, how the year has been, what I am proud of, happy with, would make differently, learnt and did. Since it has been an amazing year in all aspects for me, I want to share my feelings and experience. Maybe something in this post will help someone recall or forget, do or stop doing, dare or reconsider. If you are bored with the prospect of reading my story you can stop reading now. If you are curious, welcome.
I've done a lot this year: first of all, I set goals. I declared my wishes, my wildest dreams (or so I thought, oh, why didn't I wish for more? :) ). And then I went on with my everyday life, from time to time picking that piece of paper with the goals and dreams and just quietly wondering if they ever come true.
Then I bought an apartment. I have been looking for it and thinking about it for years. I almost lost hope of reaching this goal. And suddenly it all fell into place and I did it. I dreamt of renovating it, designing it the way I wanted it to see, of sun warming up my rooms in the morning, of birds singing behind the window in summer and cool breezy evening tea on the balcony. So, I went on, I hired a designer, a builder and went on dreaming, planning, calculating and cursing the builder of course. My new sunny cosy apartment slowly took form I dreamt of.
2 weeks after I bought the apartment, I was contacted by a recruiter. From London. From Google. This was not exactly my goal for the year, because I stopped believing it was possible at all. I just looked around for something challenging, bigger income (who doesn't?), I did not even publish my CV anywhere any more. So, I did not believe it would get anywhere at all. So, I went on with my apartment renovation.
And then I was invited for the next interview. And the third. And the fourth. And then onsite interview. I started cutting my renovation budget, because if I suddenly had got the contract (is that even possible?!) there would have been no point in investing much into an apartment I was not going to live in. And then one more video-interview. And then an offer. And then there were 2 weeks of painful decision making. Daring to change the place, the pace and the way I live. And change it for my son too. Now that I've got an opportunity in my hands I felt extremely scared. It seems not doable. Not manageable. Unthinkable. But I knew from my past experience that it is usually things you could do and didn't do that you regret. So, I plunged into the unknown and unthinkable (for me at least). It was May.
I accepted the offer.
I told my employer.
I spent 2 weeks nights investigating London schools and housing.
I cut my renovation budget to a minimum.
I found a school and secured a place for my son from September.
I started to pack things and plan relocation.
At this point in time it still seemed unreal. I was not sure I would not come back by end of summer.
I hurried the renovation, I moved in as soon as possible, and spent one month in my new fresh renovated apartment. Knowing that I only have 1 month to live in it, I enjoyed every morning, every day and evening of it. Every walk from the car to the door was meaningful. Every birdsong behind the window mornings and evenings was special, because I did not have any idea whether I would hear them again in this setting after I leave. This was an amazing experience. Life is so colourful when you enjoy every moment.
June went peacefully. In the end of June the hurry started. We packed son's suitcases and sent him to Zurich for summer. In 2 days I packed a backpack and went for an 8 days vacation. Germany-Austria-Alps!-Italy-Iseo-Milano-Tallinn. On July 5th I took my 3 suitcases and flew to London. It was becoming very real.
By this moment I've had 2 of my major goals for the year completed, but I didn't realize that yet.
First 2 months in London were fantastic, scary and chaotic at the same time. I enjoyed London and summer (it hasn't rained for 34 days in a row. In London.), my mind went crazy of all the information at work, and outside of work. On my 2nd day I went for training to Dublin, in 2 days I was back and in 2 more days I flew to US for a week. But before I flew to US I managed to find an apartment for rent. While in US I booked an apartment (at 2AM at night over the phone), came back confused and jet-lagged and in the beginning of August I've got keys and could move in.
In the end of August my son came to London. We moved again, from the temporary apartment to the new one (we moved 2 times in 3 months!) and prepared for school year.
Although by this time I felt better at work, I still had no idea how my son is going to manage school in English. First school day we both were nervous. I worked from home because I had no idea what to expect. It all turned out not just fine, but ways better than we expected. Son came back smiling and happy. At that day he suddenly realised that he could actually understand those people talking in English. With every passing day, although he did not always understand everything, he realised more and more that he could speak a foreign language, he could do something he had a hard time believing he could do. I remember from my own experience that this was a powerful feeling.
Now the whole adventure finally became doable. Basically it became done.
During September, October, November and December we both studied, learnt alot, did alot, it was not all easy, but it was not overly hard.
The lessons we learnt (and now I am speaking on behalf of both myself and my son) - and I am going to use some of the quotes I've read and used previously, which now have proven to be absolute truth:
1. “So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” – Christopher Reeve
2. There are lots of great people around. Everywhere. People that care and understand what you feel and are ready to help. You are not alone. If you have a problem, a question, lost, confused or overwhelmed, say, shout and ask for help. You will be helped.
3. In reality things are less scary and less hard than you think they are.
4. At the same time you are smarter, stronger and, in general, more capable than you think you are. Now, telling other people about schools and districts in London, I am truly amazed at how much I was actually able to investigate in the short amount of time, remotely!
5. Talk to people and listen. Every person can share something that you don't know and that is useful to you. Everybody knows something you don't, which can help you with your questions you have. And do ask questions. You have no idea where help can come from. 2 weeks ago I had no idea how to organise the New Year's eve - watching fireworks in the city looked like a risky idea to me (hundreds of thousands will be there!) and the tickets were all long gone. And then when I mentioned it at the lunch table, I've got two solutions at once!
6. Be thankful for what you have. Be content with what you have and what you do and what you can do, and you'll find yourself suddenly more and more happy every day, and having a hard time to pinpoint anything "bad" about your life.
Here in London I also started seeing more and more people who has done what I earlier believed was impossible or really hard to do. Some relocated from another continent, some live apart from their husbands and wives, flying to each other on weekends, some travel the world, some work and study and have kids at the same time, some are residents of multiple countries, some have multicultural and multinational families. And this is not something special at all.
So, skeptic as I am, a person who has always had a hard time believing in herself, I started to believe that everything is possible given you have a dream, a wish, a goal and you are ready to work towards it. And the best part of it is ..... it is not that hard at all!
